I knew my job wasn’t guaranteed long-term, but I didn’t expect the transition to the new contracting company I had worked with before in Iraq to fall through, which made the demobilization process feel rushed and unexpected.
At the time, I couldn’t see it, but losing my job was a blessing that forced me to slow down and reevaluate what I truly wanted next.
At the time, it felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I had been living and working in Germany under a government contract, doing consistent work in logistics and operations. The pay was reliable, the benefits were solid, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like I had a bit of breathing room.
When the reduction-in-force notice came, I went quiet before I went anxious. I started questioning everything. My timing. My choices. Whether I had stayed in the right place for too long. I had already walked through so many transitions before this one, and this felt like another unexpected test.
The Challenge I Had to Face
The most immediate challenge was uncertainty. Losing my job meant preparing to leave Germany, closing accounts, donating or selling belongings, and figuring out next steps without a clear timeline. The demobilization process felt rushed, and there wasn’t much space to emotionally process what was happening while it was happening.
There was also the mental weight of it all. Even when a job isn’t your identity, it can still shake your confidence when it ends abruptly. I had moments where I wondered if I had failed or missed an opportunity to secure something more permanent.
And yet, deep down, I knew this wasn’t the end of my story.
What Losing My Job Was a Blessing Taught Me
This experience taught me that stability and alignment are not the same thing. My job gave me structure, but it was never meant to be the final destination.
While working full-time, I had already been laying a quiet foundation. I was prioritizing therapy, rebuilding my health, returning to school, and slowly reconnecting with the parts of myself I had put on pause for years. Losing my job forced me to look at how far I had already come, even if the path ahead wasn’t fully clear yet.
I also learned that preparation doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like saving money, showing up for yourself consistently, and trusting that the work you’re doing behind the scenes will matter when the moments come.
Looking back now, losing my job was a blessing because it created space for healing, clarity, and realignment I didn’t know I needed.
The Good That Came With It
There was good in this chapter, even if it didn’t feel that way at first.
Because of this role, I was able to live abroad, expand my overview, and create financial stability. I paid down debt, built a savings cushion, and invested in my education. I focused on my health and lost over 100 pounds, something I once thought would never be possible for me.
Germany gave me space to heal, to slow down, and to remember who I am outside of constant survival mode. That alone made the experience worth it.
What I Hope to Build Next
The transition has given me the opportunity to move forward with intention instead of obligation.
I’m focused on completing my degree in integrative health and wellness, continuing to write honestly, and building a life and body of work that feels aligned with who I am now. I want to create income streams that support my wellbeing, not compete with it.
I don’t have every detail figured out yet, and for once, that doesn’t scare me. I trust that clarity comes with movement, not perfection.
Closing Reflection
Losing my job didn’t break me. It reminded me that I’m capable of navigating change, even when it arrives faster than expected.
Sometimes the blessing isn’t what we gain, but what we are released from.
And I trust that this ending is quietly making room for what comes next.
Reading & Reflections
Psychology Today – The Pain of Job Loss and What You Can Do About It
